road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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