I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize