Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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