now i know why i became what i already was.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
