My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
