Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
