So drunk its hurt
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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