dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
