do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have already put on my inside pants.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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