The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
