how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
