so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
