somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
