I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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