This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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