you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
