Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
