I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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