two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i out mim tonsoeep
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
