Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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