I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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