ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Randomize
