This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize