dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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