Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
