He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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