I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
God, I missed his penis.
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