I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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