I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
