drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
