Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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