What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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