I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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