i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm too high and old for this...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
