Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
