your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
