Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
