I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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