Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
