you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
