Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
