this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
