I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
