So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
