She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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