check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize