Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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