How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
