Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
