Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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