Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
