Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
