I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
