Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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