The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
