Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
