His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
