Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
