Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
