Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize