Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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