Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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